Gili Trawangan

Gili Trawangan was the getaway I needed after a week of rain in Bali. This small piece of paradise can be found off the coast of Lombok and is one of three tiny islands: The Gilis. Gili Trawangan is the biggest out of the three islands, and the most popular, with plenty of backpackers finding a temporary home here.
We stayed in Gili Backpackers, the most popular hostel on Gili T, as it has a good party scene and an amazing pool. We met up with some backpackers we'd met in Bali there and got straight into the nightlife with them, there are many great bars along the main street, each night holding a different location for the go-to bar of the evening.
There is no traffic on the Gilis and the only modes of transport are bicycles and horses. We spent a lovely day hiring bikes and cycling around Gili T coast, stopping at various locations to swim, sunbathe, eat and drink. It was lovely to get away from the main strip on Gili T and adventure the back route, it was a lot quieter and had some gorgeous beaches. On the opposite side were the famous sea swings, which provide amazing pictures and capture a gorgeous sunset.

There is an amazing food market every night which we ate from, you pile up the noodles, meats, veg etc. and it's dirt cheap. During the day we ate the classic Nasi Goreng, a simple noodle dish which can be bought opposite Gili Backpackers.
One of my highlights was when we hired snorkels for the day and headed down to coral bay. Closer to the beach most of the coral has been destroyed from boats and people stepping on it, but swim a little further out and there are some gorgeous formations full of colourful tropical fish. I was lucky enough to see two sea turtles which came to rest on the sea bed. I watched them for a good twenty minutes before they swam off into the depths and I returned back to the beach for a rest.
This island is a truly magical place and you would struggle to find anywhere like it in the world. I spent a great week with friends partying, sunbathing and exploring so got a real mix. It is a little touristy at times so would recommend one of the other Gili islands for a more peaceful retreat, however I felt this had good diversity and wasn't too tacky (unlike Kuta in Bali) keeping some of the traditional local wonders rather than being taken over fully by shops and bars.

Imagine

I like to imagine myself with my own little flat, probably on the outskirts of a city somewhere, and probably near to the sea. I would unlock my door after a long day at work, and be greeted by two cats, the friendly ones who love a good stroke. I would curl up with a book on my sofa under a lovely patchwork blanket I picked up from a charity shop. I would be surrounded by book shelves stacked with second hand books, and house plants that I sometimes forget to water, but they're not the fussiest kinds of plants so were still living.
I imagine having a small kitchen, with cupboards I'd scruffily painted over myself. I wouldn't have a lot of cutlery or much crockery but would have plenty of mugs for my endless cups of tea. White with two sugars. I would probably end up eating microwaved noodles in them by the end of the week when I hadn't done the washing up.
I would have a desk somewhere, whether in my bedroom or the lounge I'm not sure. But it would be my creative space with paints and sketchbooks and posters hung up around it for inspiration. I would sit there for hours every day when I felt even a spark of motivation.
My bed would be made up of lots of cushions and blankets I'd collected up over the years, and would be a cosy, peaceful space to return to at night, with a velux window as to listen to the falling rain on a dreary evening.
In the morning I would get up early and take a journal to my local coffee shop, writing lists of things to get done that day, maybe doing a spot of drawing and listening to a chilled out playlist.

I don't know if this place will ever be a reality but I like to think of it occasionally. It's a safe place to wonder around when I think about my future.

India on a Shoestring - Part Three

We got a long train starting in the early hours in the morning, and let me tell you, it was absolutely freezing. We had been warned it would be cold, but this was mad. I couldn't feel my toes or fingers and had two thick jumpers on. Probably my least favourite journey of the trip (and none of the journeys were particularly fun) but I still managed to sleep on the train, and read some of my book, Gone Girl.

having a nap on a local train

We got tuk tuks on the other side of the journey, Jaisalmer was a lot warmer than the other places so far, so it was nice to strip back my layers of jumpers. We visited the gorgeous lake in the afternoon, along with the buildings to the side of it: a palace and hindu temple. We then watched the sunset sat on some steps the far side of the lake, it was incredibly peaceful and possibly the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen. That evening we went for drinks in one of the hotel rooms and drunk a bit too much Indian Rum (that stuff is strong so it's easy to do), we also got to meet a few people off of the other G Adventures tour group who were a day ahead of us on the same tour. 

The next day, cradling a bad hangover, we had a lie in before heading to Jaisalmer Fort. The fort was amazing and the views stunning: looking over the whole of Jaisalmer, the golden city. We then went to a fabric shop where they sold things like pashmina scarfs, Suz, Ella and I left early though after having a little browse as the three of us were tired and just wanted time to relax. We got a tuk tuk back to the hotel and spent the remainder of the day by the pool trying to get a tan. 

Sunset over Jaisalmer Lake

view from Jaisalmer Fort

Jaisalmer was an amazing city and a place I would love to come back and visit one day. We only spent two nights there so I feel like I could have seen more, especially of the fort and surrounding area, as all I wanted to do on the second day was curl up in a ball and sleep. 

Boring Days

On social platforms people only put forward the best of themselves, their best selfies, holidays, travels, clean and tidy rooms, to the point I almost forget people have "boring days."
Today for me is a bed day. I have barely left my room, I haven't got changed and I'm sat listening to music on repeat as I think about how I should probably be doing something more than this.
Sometimes life isn't all about travelling and beautiful makeup and new clothes, sometimes the most I will do is make a dent in that massive pile of washing, change my bed covers, or wash my hair. The big thing for me is to not feel bad about it. Sure, it's better to have a productive day, but sometimes, quite frankly, I cannot be bothered. I've always got tomorrow, right?! I need to tell myself to stop trying to do everything and take a break once in a while. If I manage to do one thing on my list of chores today, that is a step forward and I will be happy.

How to be lucky

I consider myself a pretty lucky person. The chances of me ever being born were tiny, and then the chance that I would be human, an intelligent and dominating species on earth, even smaller. Then again the chance that I would be reasonably well off, have been educated, have a constant supply of running water... minute. So already, I think I am incredibly lucky and try to live every day knowing this.
But on a smaller scale, why is it that some days I feel like I have good luck and some days I have bad? It can be caused by any variables I can't control, like the weather or who and what I come across that day. But actually, the real variable is my attitude. If I wake up and point out every good thing that happens to me that day, I'm sure to have a brilliant day, whereas if I wake up and point out everything which doesn't go right, I'm not sure how good I'm going to be feeling by the end of that day.
Being lucky is having friends who care about me, being lucky is going on adventures across the world, being lucky is fulfilling all my ambitions, and none of that happens by chance. I make it happen, so therefore, luck is controllable.

Overcoming Anxiety

First things first. I suffer with anxiety. I have known that I suffer with anxiety since the age of 16, when I did my own research into what the hell was wrong with me. Back then I got incredibly nervous and panicky going into school, to the point where I would try and fake illnesses every other day just to get away from it. It didn't work because my mum was pretty strict with that sort of thing, so the best I could do was getting to go for some peace and quiet in the school sick bay. The worst times for me were when I had to present in front of a class, had to do any sort of reading out loud (where I would stammer over every single word to the point which it was painful to listen), and as I later found in sixth form, talking to boys - up until then I had gone to a girls school so didn't know this was a problem.
If you haven't experienced anxiety, the best comparison I have come across is the fear you would get if you came face to face with a hungry tiger that was about to attack you, rationally you would panic and prepare to run away or defend yourself (the fight or flight response which is widely known in psychology), that would be normal. But in the case of anxiety, there is no tiger. The thing you are fearing is not real, yet the fear itself is completely real.
At age 17 I was put on medication by a doctor who suggested this would be a short term solution because he thought that after exams passed, so would my anxiety. I also started seeing counsellors, who helped to an extent, but they were much more interested in my depression than my anxiety, but truth be told my depression had stemmed from anxiety, from the utter hopelessness I felt of dealing with every day situations and day to day life. After my exams my anxiety carried on as prominent as ever, as I had expected. I was put on antidepressants, dropped out of sixth form and carried on with counselling. Up to that point I hadn't been completely honest about my anxiety, I couldn't even bring myself to explain that I got embarrassed by boys, I found the whole thing just so ridiculous that I didn't want anyone to know what my anxiety was from. It was only when I started seeing my most recent counsellor at 18 called Megan, who I was honest with, that I started to realise that the whole boy-phobia thing wasn't absolutely insane. She didn't treat me like my anxieties were ridiculous, and maybe other people wouldn't either.
After that I started telling people about my anxiety in a lighthearted way, shrugging it off as something that I had, something that happened and was just a part of me. I realised that once people knew, I found it a lot easier to be around them. They could understand to some extent what was happening to me, so wouldn't judge me, so I had no reason to get anxious in the first place. Obviously this didn't work all the time, but it certainly helped a lot.
Another thing my silly mind seemed to do (and still does) is build up associations with people and places. If I panic once around a person, my mind will think I'm going to do the same every single time I see them, and as a self fulfilling prophecy, I then do. I haven't got control over this yet, but rather just tell my mind to shut up when I start thinking these things and try to make myself be around this person more instead of avoiding them, as the more I see this person, the easier it is to overcome.
I still very much have anxiety, I have panicked and freaked out so many times in the last month alone, but that's okay, it's nothing new, I am used to it. It wasn't the first time and it most certainly won't be the last. I'm okay with my worry bugs, and I embrace them as a part of me which is something I couldn't do until recently.

How to go travelling

I am happiest when I am moving. I don't like to feel like my life is at a standstill and like to inspire my future in any way I can.
I am extremely happy at the moment because I have travels coming up, this is a massive adventure for me and something I know I am passionate about. I can't wait to pack up and just go. Deciding to travel is a massive scary-exciting leap, but so worth it, you get to delve into the unknown, into stuff you've never experienced before.
My advice is make that initial decision to go travelling, obviously the main thing you will need is the money, because you're not going anywhere if you can't afford the flights and living costs. my travelling friend said something to me which sticks in my mind, money doesn't buy happiness but it does buy choices.
Once you have made the decision to go and have the money to do so, the rest will fall into place. If you're not sure how to go about it there are plenty of companies out there that can help out, the one company for me which has been a massive help is STA travel, they arranged one of my tours for me and booked every single one of my flights. They can also help when it comes to travel insurance, travel cards etc.
Plane tickets are the most pricey things you will be buying, so plan your routes and book those flights. I know that STA lets you pay in chunks if you're unable to pay it all in one go. Once you know that's booked you can start planning the exciting things, so get that out the way and the fun details are up next.
You need to think about whether you want to go on a tour, or explore alone, there are advantages and disadvantages to both, but for a new traveller I would advise starting with a tour, just to get you going. I did a tour in India and I loved it, it gives you a chance to meet loads of other travellers and make some good friends who have similar passions in life.
One thing which has been a huge help and inspiration for my travels is Pinterest. Set up a pin board for each destination of your trip and get pinning! Simply type where you're going into the search bar and things will flow in of what to do there. For example, I have a pin board of my upcoming trip to Indonesia and I have an ever growing amount of pins of things to do there, most coming with information, maps or blog posts on the place.

I then got hold of a map of each island I'm going to and plotted where each of these attractions were in relation to each other, and researched how to get to each of the places. It may seem tricky at first but you will find there are many modes of transportation which travellers use, such as buses and night trains, and many travellers will be doing the same routes. There are also day trips to local attractions being advertised out there everywhere, so as long as you're in the right areas you will be okay.

Last of all, relax and enjoy, even if you don't get to do everything on your list, you will still have a life changing trip and get to experience a completely different way of life and culture. There is something pretty freeing not knowing where your next bed is going to be and just living moment to moment. I would recommend travelling to anyone, at least to try it to find out if its your cup of tea or not. And as I found out in India, I could drink this tea forever. 

5 things to watch that make you think

1. Blackfish
I decided to give this a watch after reading a blog post on the cruelty of Sea World. This is a documentary about Killer Whales in captivity and one killer whale in particular kept at Sea World called Tilikum, who has been involved with the death of three people. However this documentary makes it obvious that the real problem lies with the corporation rather than the behaviour shown by Tilikum, who was lashing out due to years of being kept in captivity and made to perform for an audience. It's a very gripping watch and one that has changed my view of Sea World forever, having previously known next to nothing.

2. Black Mirror
This is a chilling series on the use of technology in a fictional but somewhat familiar world. It is sorta fucked up, but so interesting and very close to home, lots of plot twists and turns so is sometimes difficult to get a grasp of what's going on until the very end. Therefore best to give it two watches! The show was created by comedian Charlie Brooker, he also created one of my other favourite tv shows 'Dead Set' which is also definitely worth a watch if you like zombies, puts a modern spin on the classic zombie horror, pretty disturbing with some dark humour mixed in.

3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
A love story acted out by Jim Carey and Kate Winslet, yet is so much more than that to make it truly memorable. It's well written and intelligent and has some really good imagery regarding memories and the loss of them. Set in a slightly futuristic world where it is possible to wipe memories from past events. Jim Carey's character decides to wipe his latest relationship, but when there is nothing left but the good memories from the start of relationship, why would you want to forget it all?

4. Earthlings
This documentary made me seriously consider vegetarianism again, but without being pushy and pro-veggie. It tells the facts about animals, talks about pain and their treatment by humans, even though they have as much right to be on this earth as us. Made me cry a few times, it's a very difficult watch but a complete eye opener as to what goes on in slaughterhouses on a daily basis.

5. American Psycho
A Christian Bale film, similar in many ways to The Wolf of Wall Street. A very odd watch but again one I won't forget easily, has elements of narcissism, materialism, misogyny, classism to name a few, and also dabbles in some dark humour. Leaves you wondering what exactly happened and can be interpreted differently by different people. Very cleverly written and anyone who finds psychopaths fascinating (like me) will love this.

India on a Shoestring - Part Two

My first experience of a night train is not one I will forget easily. It was late by the time we got on the train and we had been warned to padlock our bags to our beds because it wasn't uncommon for street kids to jump on and steal them in the night. I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. I think I had imagined something like the carriages in Harry Potter, cosy but enclosed. But this train didn't have compartments and was largely open plan, I was lucky enough to have the bottom bunk on three tiered bunks so I didn't have to do any scrambling around trying to climb up to my bunk (like I would have to do later on in the trip) and my backpack was laid out nice and close to me with a chain wrapped around it. My night's sleep wasn't half bad compared to most of my group's, I found the rocking motion of the train really quite comforting.

(top to bottom) Ella, Emma and I

We got off the train nice and early and got tuk tuks to our hotel in Bikaner where we were given two rooms between the ten of us to freshen up and get some rest before we headed out to the desert in the afternoon. I got a chance to bond with some of the girls properly and we talked about our favourite books a bit. It was the moment I decided I really loved the group of people I was with.

We headed out in jeeps to just beyond a desert village and met up with the men who owned the camels and would be leading them. Manu gave a quick demonstration on how to mount a camel (do not whatever you do lean forward as its standing up - you will fall off) and we were told to pick a camel, I went for a safe option of one which didn't seem to be foaming round the mouth. Looking back I don't know if that was the right decision because if you were on a camel who was uncontrollably dribbling, at least you were less likely to have a dribbling camel right behind you with the constant fear that it might get on your hair or clothes. Also when I say "dribble", I am not talking about like when a baby blows bubbles with its mouth, I am talking about the sound of retching mixed with large amounts of froth and a tongue that swells up like a balloon. Camels are not pretty animals.

My experience of riding a camel is one of pain, we were on them for a good three hours and my thighs were hard worked by the end of it. We stopped only once on this long journey for lunch, where the village men cooked us some traditional dishes on an open fire. Without going into too much detail, it was on this stop when I went for a toilet break behind a bush that I realised I had what is known as Delhi Belly. Riding camels and camping in the desert is not the place to have this, however I managed to avoid too much embarrassment. 

Ella and I on the camels

When we got off the camels and waddled into the campsite we were treated to beers and chai tea before heading up the dunes to watch what little there was of a sunset (it was foggy) and we sat on the dunes beers in hand, which turned out to be a very poor decision due to these spiky seeds which were hidden within the sand that stuck to all our clothes for days, even weeks. When it got dark the village men cooked us another meal which unfortunately I didn't try due to the dodgy stomach, Manu also surprised us with fireworks he had carried in his luggage from Delhi which we watched in the pitch black of the desert from around the campfire. Later on we got the surprise of traditional music, which the men played on a big hand-drum type instrument with lots of chanting and whistling and all of us circling awkwardly around the campfire, definitely an experience I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Manu, Dominique and I stayed up later than the rest, and we told stories round the fire and chilled out, the guard dog cuddling up to me despite my half-hearted attempts to move him away (rabies and fleas and all that). The desert was freezing that night, even with lots of layers and blankets in the tent, the dog also preceded to howl and bark half the night, we all woke up in the morning cold, tired and ready to hit the dog over the head with a stone.

We headed back to the pretty hotel in Bikaner nice and early, not getting much of a chance to rest as we had lots of places to visit, a beautiful palace within Bikaner fort, lots of towers, balconies and beautifully decorated rooms. More memorably, that afternoon we visited Deshnoke, a town half an hour away which is famous for its rat temple, at this place they worship and feed wild rats. We weren't allowed shoes which wasn't the most comfortable experience due to the floor having quite a lot of rat poo, however I was surprised how calm I was when in with the rats, they were smaller than expected and seemed friendly enough. We were told that rats running over your feet was good luck (which happened to me a lot) and also to make a wish if we saw a white rat because they were special, in our group we managed to spot two or maybe three, I'm not sure, it could have been the same rat twice.

We had a nice early evening in Bikaner after a group meal, all pretty knackered after the bad night's sleep in the desert. The next day we would head to Jaisalmer, having to wake up early for a long train journey. 

India on a Shoestring - Part One

I opted to go travelling with a friend from work, Emma, to India. Starting in January and ending at the beginning of February. We decided to do a tour as India is a difficult place to navigate around, going with a company called "G Adventures" due to their low prices and high amount of activities provided.

Emma and I arrived in Delhi on the 12th of January after a long flight from Heathrow, we collected our backpacks and found a man holding a sign for G adventure tours where he sat us down in the airport with another girl until more of our group arrived. The girl was called Dominique who would later become one of my closest friends on the tour, she was Canadian but had travelled from London, we talked about travelling a little bit and two other girls arrived: Ella and a girl for one of the other tours with G adventures who had both been on the same flight as us and were from England. We then got into a taxi with "women on wheels" a company run by and for women, then having our first experience of the mad traffic of India, cars everywhere, loud honking of horns and large traffic jams.

Arriving at the Hotel, ironically named "Hotel Perfect" we were greeted by our tour guide, Manu, who gave us our room keys and told us a time to meet him for a pep talk. The hotel was freezing, having evidently been designed for an Indian summer with tiled floors and electric fans, apart from that it was pleasant enough, but far from 'perfect'. Emma and I had a nap having been tired out from our journey, we later walked down for our talk with Manu who introduced himself and explained a little about the company and the tour. I also got to meet most of the rest of my tour group: Becci from Wales but who was studying in Australia, Suzanne from England, Victoria from America and Mili from Argentina. Manu invited us out for an optional meal, which we all said yes to, and Ella and I shared a vegetarian platter and I had the first of many piña coladas.

The next day we got up to go to Jama Masjid, a large Mosque in Old Delhi. Also meeting the remainder of the tour group, a girl from Australia called Jacqui and an older man from America named Edward. At the entrance of the Mosque we were instructed to put on not the most flattering of robes, mine looking slightly like a hospital gown. We wondered around the site taking in the marvellous surroundings, and paying to go up to the tallest tower of the mosque, a sign telling us that women weren't allowed to go up unaccompanied by a man! (thank god for Edward).

Ella, me and Emma sat outside Jama Masjid

View from the top of the tower

After the Mosque Manu took us on an orientation walk of Old Delhi, stopping to talk about different sites, we stopped at a Sikh Gurdwara where they give out free lunches for anyone who attends and ate food there in a hall, that afternoon we went to visit Salaam Baalak Trust, a non-profit organisation based in Delhi to help street kids. They take in children and give them a home and an education, it was inspiring to hear about and lovely to have the chance to talk to and interact with the children there.

That evening we had an overnight train with compact three tier bunks to sleep in to take us to Bikaner, a vibrant desert town, where the trip would continue.

Resolutions for 2015

I haven't made any resolutions for this new year yet, but it is a personal tradition of mine so I guess better late than never.

1. Read more
I made this resolution last year as well, and I did read a quite a few books, but I will continue to make this resolution and read as much as I can. This year is already off to a good start, I just finished Memoirs of a Geisha and am currently reading Gone Girl, so fingers crossed I keep it up!

2. Draw more
I did well last year in the way that I set up my business for illustrations and graphics and now sell my designs in my free time on products, however I would like to spend more free time concentrating on the drawings and making sure they are to the best of my ability.

3. Travel more
I know I am going to achieve this already as I have booked my travelling for the year. I go to India in three days for a month. And later on in the year I am going to Indonesia and South Africa. I can't wait to explore the world and experience new cultures, I have got the travel bug hard at the moment and I couldn't be happier about it.

4. Say yes and no confidently
I find myself going out clubbing a lot at the moment, not particularly because I want to but because I'm accompanying friends. If I would rather have a night in I don't think I should have to make an excuse for myself.

5. Take better care of my body
I have put on a lot of weight and just want to stay in control of my body, I overeat a lot on occasion and don't do nearly enough exercise, so I would like to change that.

6. Keep control over my anxiety
I have good and bad days with my anxiety but I want to remind myself that I am strong and can do anything if I put my mind to it, I want to break down the associations I have with anxiety such as phone calls, cashiers, stuffy rooms etc. and learn that just because I am in certain panic-prone situations doesn't mean I am going to have an anxiety attack.

I have a lot I want to achieve this year but am optimistic that I can do these things, I am constantly striving to be a better person and have come so far already. Heres to 2015, I already have a good feeling about this one and am so excited as to what it will hold.